she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
