To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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