Jerry, you need to find god
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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