pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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