My girlfriend figured out who you are.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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