Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
