just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
