have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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