Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
