Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
