I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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