So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
my being single is dangerous.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
