It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
