normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Two words: nipple clamps
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