i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
