And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
