how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
