no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
