question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Girls should come with a carfax report
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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