I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
