I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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