If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
