Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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