Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
