I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
where am i from again
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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