Sry I called you an 8
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Randomize
