I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
