And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
you have to choose: penises or morals?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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