ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I have tasted many bathrooms
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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