moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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