that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Randomize
