Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize