Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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