I can tuck mytits in my pants
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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