I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize