we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
