You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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