Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
