I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize