let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
