there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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