i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
This house was built for laser tag.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
