I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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