there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
