I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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