id be glad to
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
