Having a random hookup so left but love u
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
