She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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