I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
My pussy is not your playground.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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