Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
