I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Randomize
