Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
