In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I touched a dick in church today
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
