standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
