I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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