Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
