used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
