your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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