need another drink. this is the easiest way
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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