i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
