sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
