they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
