Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
