sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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