Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
