A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
