I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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