3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
