Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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