***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
